An interesting read from Dale Carnegie's book, "How to win friends and influence people". Enjoy! :D
Tone
George B. Johnston of Enid, Oklahoma, is the safety coordinator for an engineering company, One of his responsibilities is to see that employees wear their hard hats whenever they are on the job in the field.
He reported that whenever he came across workers who were not wearing hard hats, he would tell them with a lot of authority of the regulation and that they must comply. As a result he would get sullen acceptance, and often after he left, the workers would remove the hats.
He decided to try a different approach. The next time he found some of the workers not wearing their hard hat, he asked if the hats were uncomfortable or did not fit properly. Then he reminded the men in a pleasant tone of voice that the hat was designed to protect them from injury and suggested that it always be worn on the job.
The result was increased compliance with the regulation with no resentment or emotional upset.
Takeaway:
Things, when handled differently, could have different outcomes.
The tone and manner of your approach is very important in establishing work relationships.
Do unto others as to what you would have them do to you.
Please retrieve the job opening advertisement here before you read my cover letter! :) (Sender’s address)
February 8, 2012
(Recipient’s full name)
(Recipient’s designation)
Ministry of Education,
Singapore
1 North Buona Vista Drive
Singapore 138675
Dear (Recipient’s name),
RE: Application for a full-time teaching position – Ministry of
Education (MOE)
I am a Year 2 undergraduate
reading Geography at the National University of Singapore and have a strong
interest in the full-time teaching position at MOE as advertised on ST701.com, February 8, 2012.
My reasons for applying to a
teaching position at MOE are twofold. Firstly, I am excited by the prospect of
working with energetic students in a school setting. I believe that it is
within a teacher’s capacity to enlighten and intrigue young minds that will
form the pillars of our society in future. Secondly, I am motivated by MOE’s
support for teachers to pursue individual growth and professional development.
This is particularly evident in the TEACH framework that MOE extends to its
teachers. These endow the meaningful purpose and relevance that I look for in
my future career.
My interest in teaching
sparked off when I started teaching at Brilliant Minds Learning Centre. I
thoroughly enjoyed the process of working with young children and inculcating
them with the necessary skills beyond academia. It has been very rewarding each
time to see my students benefit and enjoy my lessons. Since then, my passion
for teaching has never stopped. In May 2011, I participated in a Field Studies
programme with NUS Geography to Northern Thailand, Chiang Mai. From the course,
I am convinced that students learn Geography best through experience. Drawing a
parallel, I wish to work towards delivering geographical content through field
explorations and interactive learning methods that will gradually cultivate my
students’ interest in Geography.
I believe that I have the necessary
qualities that make me a strong teaching candidate. My organizational abilities
were honed through my various leadership responsibilities assumed in Meridian
Junior College. My achievements in school can also serve as testaments to my
professionalism and dedication to overcome challenges in my engagements. I hope
that my driven attitude towards teaching can attest to the ingredients needed
of a passionate teacher.
I look forward to discussing
my qualifications with you and thank you very much for your time and
consideration.
Today, I share a video on a conflict situation in The Amazing Race season 14. This case illustrates how a conflict arose probably due to team and self interests and also out of self defense and dignity. It highlights the quarrel between 2 teams, Margie & Luke and Keisha & Jen.
Video: The Amazing Race 14 - Conflict situation
The conflict sparked off when Luke shoved Jen away and she commented "bitch" in response to the physical act by Luke at the first clue box. Luke, being hearing-impaired, got livid after his mother, Margie, related the comment made about him. As both teams proceeded on to their next clue box, Jen retaliated and pushed Luke away while keeping him away from the clue box.
Let us focus on the later half of the video where Phil tried to mediate the situation. Harsh words were exchanged and both parties gave their side to the story. It was also seen that Luke wanted to exit the debate until he was called back by Phil. The atmosphere was intense and there was heightened tension that resulted from the Keisha's laugh, arguably about Luke's disability and Margie's racist lash back. My take is that it could be purely out of sheer eagerness to win their immediate competitors, and such occurrences of actions and emotions during the game may be inevitable. However, as it was not carefully handled thereafter, the situation had escalated into a major disagreement, which was broadcasted to a worldwide audience.
Do you think that the situation could have been handled differently given their positionalities as a mother, sister, contestant, man with hearing-impairness and a TV host. Could they have acted differently at the point or past the point of conflict?
Before I end off, I'd like to share an additional video on Kevin and Michael in 17th season of The Amazing Race. This is a really remarkable scene of mutual encouragement between father and son, broadcasted to a world-wide audience. Even though conflict may have existed in the form of frustration and disappointment towards self and his partner as they were unable to complete the race within the fastest possible, the duo has demonstrated that conflicts may be overcome with empathy and support. Have a good watch!
Conflicts may occur when people, engaged in a social
situation, are unable to work together in an amicable manner. Interestingly, conflict also
exists in the form of self-conflict where one is in disagreement with oneself. Given its ubiquity, conflicts might have become an unavoidable part of our everyday lives. In that case,
are all conflicts necessarily bad then? In fact, it is not. Conflicts, when
positively handled, may be beneficial in strengthening a relationship, but the
converse holds true too in its ability to destroy one.
Video: Cartoon Conflict - Perish!
A conflict is always exhausting as we expend our energy to deal with our emotions. To resolve conflicts, parties should be
mentally and emotionally prepared. If you are not yet ‘ready to fight’, you could take an exit to think through before responding to the problem. In my opinion, it is always
better to think level headed than to act irrationally as this might cause unnecessary ad hominem arguments. Lastly, it is important for parties to dedicate enough time to fruitfully resolve an issue so that time doesn't become a stressful factor!
Video: Ice Age 3 (Eggsicles) - Sid "exits" the conflict by relenting when not ready to argue
Photo: Take time to think through before responding
'Don't hang your dirty linen in the public'. We
should always try to resolve our conflicts in the private domain as the external factors in the open may influence the
outcome of the conflict, for example parties may be eager to win the argument for face
and self-image. As such, victims are subjected to torrents of hurtful and abusive rebuttals that are unnecessary for a resolution. In
most cases, egos will be dented and deflated as a result, making them hard to patch and remain scarred even after a long period of time.
Thirdly, know what kind of conflict you are fighting over. Be it
relational, content, image, values or others, we should only fight over problems
that can be solved or else no agreement can be reached. Lastly, avoid 'gunnysacking' all the problems but target one issue at a
time so that the problem can be contained within a certain perimeter.
Additionally, I wish to share this journal article that I came across last semester about the ‘win-win’
solution. Does win-win really mean that both parties are winners here? Not necessarily. A dispute must arise from a conflict of interests. Therefore,
a win-win solution may very well be a form of a compromise where each party gives way till
they achieve their desired minimum. Following that school of thought, I believe that a 'win-win' scenario may only occur in cases of
aligned goals. That being said, compromising could still be an optimal solution as
each party gets part of what they want as we may see in the Olive Branch video below.
Video: Olive Branch (Sleep) - Compromise
To that end, conflicts are inevitable in life. I feel that the most beneficial resolution to a conflict is
always to problem-solve. Of course, problem-solving is easier said than done.
Sometimes, one might get lost in his or her maze of anger and is unable to
extricate oneself from it or remain silently oppressed. On a final note, it definitely benefits to speak to someone so that you may gain some interesting perspectives to a problem. And if an agreement can be reached, move on, honour the
new commitments and let go of past positions, blame and punishment! Make your
world a nicer one to live in!
Having commented on a few of my classmates work, I've decided to share two of my comment contents here! They can be found on Hui Qi and Jo's comments section!
Firstly, Hui Qi mentioned her apprehension towards public presentation. I've dedicated the song called No Fear from Disney's Swan Princess to her!
Video: No Fear from Disney's Swan Princess
Note that I've placed a different version on Hui Qi's comment link
On a more serious note, here's a Chinese character written in its older form for 'listen' (听) which was placed on Jo's blog comment.
There, I wrote about how this character has a very interesting relationship to the meanings of its components. It has a ear (耳), a pair of eyes (目), and undivided (一) attention (心 ). The beauty of language don't you agree?
Communication involves a two-way exchange whereby participants
make use of different tools to share ideas. I feel that communication skills
are not innate, but it is an acquired behaviour. From young, we observe
how one ‘talks’ to another and mimic them. Interestingly, many non-verbal forms of
communication usually go unnoticed in life. The two videos below on
autism and animals illustrates 2 forms of communication that I have learnt about in university over the past two years!
Video: Autistic communication
Video: Bees using vector calculus to communicate the location of nectar
Communication is
therefore a reciprocal act; one conveys, the other digests. It enables and allows for a mutual agreement and
understanding. We as individuals communicate on different platforms for
differing purposes — to pitch an idea, to express emotions and thoughts, to
build social relations, etc. Communication is thus key the fabrication of societal
relations (see Ken’s tip #48 on communication).
Video: Ken's dating tips - Communication
So what then defines
an effective communication? I
suppose that’s when one’s intended meaning is translated accurately in other’s
received interpretation. As living beings, we communicate, we convey, and we relate
our idea(l)s. I’m sure most of my readers here would concur that it occurs in
every part of daily life, even in the slightest way. A failure to communicate
would impair one’s empathetic awareness. People engage in their senses –
visual, auditory, olfactory, tactile and gustatory - for meaningful exchanges.
More importantly, as a
current tutor and a future educator, it is essential (and required?) for me to
be equipped with such interpersonal skills as I am and will be dealing with
people. My present experiences with these little ones made me realise that I take students beyond their academia and also play an actor role in
their lives. It is no wonder why people say that 'a teacher is for life'. It is therefore important to know the rules of the game on having
effective exchanges and how my perceptions, judgement, etc could construct
barriers to communicating effectively, therefore aiding or deteriorating
relationships.
Video: Priorities of life - The multiple roles an individual plays
That's not all. I am not just a teacher to my students, but I also take on multiple roles in life alike everyone else - a student, a sibling, a daughter, granddaughter, friend, close friend, buddy, colleagues, teammates, etc. A person has only 24 hours every day. Communication hence needs to be effective for us to maximize our time spent on subjects and objects. We need (and should) allocate enough time to the various engagements we have for fulfilling sharing sessions to happen.
Photo: The importance of pacing
Lastly, communication
is not just a monologue where one rattles. We listen and pace with others in
terms of the content, posture and language with empathy. This thus creates a
harmonious setting for individuals to ease into a situation where they could be
open with you and to you.
In all, it is my wish
for everyone in this ES class to learn and grow together as we hail the beautiful
times, support with constructive criticism and build rapport as classmates
before we venture into our next milestone in life!
